Completely emotionally detatched

So, while I wait for a doctors appointment to become available, how does one deal with having become completely and entirely emotionally detached?

Back story. I love my man. Back in the beginning of our relationship we had some issues with porn use. Yeah yeah “sooooo sick of hearing about porn on this app”. Anyways, it gave me some problems, the usual “I’m not good enough” and “he would rather have someone else”.

3 years and a few big arguments later, I now find myself emotionally gone. I have no sex drive at all, and most of the time I’d rather he turn to porn than me.

Wtf is up with that?? How can you swing completely the other way on something like that!?

Anyways I’d been working out to the point of hurting myself but not taking a day off because losers don’t lose. I’ve lost about 20lbs but still working on the thigh gap and flat tummy. Obviously I was only doing it to be more of what he would rather get off too, so I didn’t quit. Once I datasets not caring about wtf he thought, I’m in a better routine and hurting myself less and feeling a lot stronger. Still waiting for that tummy to GTFO but meh.

So ... wtf do I do now? I just don’t care about sex at all. Like, at all!! Not a tiny bit. If he one day asked me for all my money so he could go fuck a prostitute, I’d give it to him and tell him to text me when he’s done so I can have dinner ready for him.

Wtf is wrong with me?