Husband is suffering... Part 2

Ok I finally got the second part up because it was too long for one post... sorry

All his benefits went to his wife and children just as they normally would and things seemingly died down. Carol and her boys returned and lived a regular life uninterrupted.

Until the youngest son we will call him Eric was murder at 16 years old by an adult. The family returned home to bury Eric and based on grave placement they are stacked tombs for family designation. Eric was buried ontop of Jacob and that would be the funeral I and my husband attended with our two small boys at this time. Jacob’s mother pure in grief again because this was the first time she has been to the grave of her son and it was to bury her grandson. She was so happy to see Jacob Jr. because this was her first time meeting his two sons and seeing him as a grown man almost 21 at this time. Jacob Jr. previously lived in the home and slept in his dad’s old room that hasn’t been changed since he died. He competed most of high school while playing basketball until he was injured during his junior year and moved back to his mom’s house a few hours away. Derek was in the back of the funeral grieving his lost son.

Now that you have the back story let’s jump to current events.

In early 2019 Carol gets a Facebook request from an old associate who liked her way back in the day. This man still crushing on her became a Facebook friend. This is where he saw a picture of my youngest daughter who is currently 2 years old and as all my children have she is currently fair skinned with hazel/green/blue eyes while my other children have become a light brown skin tone after they turned 3 years old. This new old friend we will call him Nathan is convinced that Jacob jr. has to be his son solely on the current appearance of my youngest daughter the other 3 older ones he doesn’t stake a claim to as a reason paternity should exist. This fact alone pisses me off but I will save my feelings for later at the end. So Carol entertaining Nathan and catching up for olds times sake with constant phone calls and Facebook messages are getting comfortable with each other. In which he tells her he still loves her wants her to move back home to be with him. Their first few months of conversations are simply about him and her getting back together and nothing about my husband. He rarely mentions him until he requests my husband on Facebook.

Carol tells my husband there is a slight possibility that Nathan could be his father but she is unsure and he thinks he definitely is because of how my daughter looks. When my husband asks what about the other 3 she doesn’t have an answer because Nathan doesn’t acknowledge their appearance with any that resemble his family.

Nathan is half white and black and is more fair skinned than my husband and our youngest daughter combined. And is tall but my husband is taller and has light brown eyes. From what I’ve seen my husband doesn’t resemble him in anyway and they don’t share any features my husband has not even as a child until now. My husband feels this is all sketchy as well but he is stuck in the middle.

Here is the most sketchy part that makes me side eye Nathan entirely. He called my husband 3 weeks ago and ask if he were coming to the annual celebration that is done in their hometown. The main reason why is because (he actually said this) “cannot wait to show you around town so I can piss off Jessica) we will call her Jessica and she is Jacob’s sister whom Nathan loathes. He doesn’t care how my husband may feel about this entire situation and is constantly disrespecting his family (Jacob’s family) my husband posted a picture of him and Jacob when he was a child and Nathan commented “I’m not gone say nothing” my husband was pissed and just deleted the picture and now he doesn’t post anything at all. Nathan has made excuses about taking a DNA test that my husband and I requested his condition is he will but wants to see my husband and Carol has to come and be there. Everything he does is about Carol.

my husband is angry but won’t express it to his mother or Nathan and he feels used and he also doesn’t know his place anymore. He feels like he lost his family and he lost the man who will forever be his father and he feels like he doesn’t want Nathan around because Nathan had the last 30 years to come into the picture and he didn’t and he also had the last year to try and build with my husband and he chose to only pursue Carol.

😞😞😞 Jacob’s father is dying and my husband feels like he cannot reach out to him because what if he doesn’t accept him. What if he does and the rest of everyone doesn’t? Cousins have already started beefing with him from Jacob’s side of the family and he just feels like his life was ruined. He won’t reach out to his grandfather because he feels like it could add additional stress and make him sicker and he doesn’t want his death to be his fault. He also won’t do it because of fear his grandfather will reject him even though they are really really close. So as of now he’s just letting things go until his grandfather passes away and he won’t revisit the situation

This is a heartbreak I cannot fix so I just have to sit back and watch. I told him he definitely needed therapy because he is wearing so much guilt on his shoulders.

What should be done here?