Just wanted to vent.. y’all might enjoy my pain so here

Ever since the 3rd grade I’ve pretty much been in the shadow of my best friend. She’s always been the “pretty” friend because of the fact that she’s light skin and I’m brownskin. She’s always the one with the boyfriend and I’m always the one that’s getting left or I’m always the one that’s alone. She gets the pretty compliments and the 2k+ followers. I know it’s not good to be jealous of your best friend so don’t lecture me I just wish it was my turn, everything that’s good in life, happens to her. I just wanna be happy too yk? She got a boyfriend recently so she doesn’t talk to me as often anymore and of course all of my friends pretty much rally behind her so if I’m not talking about her or if I’m not with her then people don’t really want to talk to me. I’ve even tried to stop talking to her just so that people could start seeing me as my own person but my mom somehow decided to make me be friends with her again which is a wholeee other story but I just wish that people didn’t base their opinions on me around her, or I want people to just see me as me and not just ****’s best friend. I know y’all probably think that I’m a shitty person now but I just wish that people saw me as her equal, and I wish that my life was at least half as great as hers.