I'm a 22 (almost 23) year old female. My fiance is a 22 (almost 23) year old male. We met in highschool, dated in grade 9 for a bit but broke up pretty quickly.

In grade 11 we started going out again and it's been 7 years that we have been together. I love my fiance very much. He's super sweet (he does have his moments) very caring, handsome, smart and his work ethic is amazing.

After highschool him and I talked about having kids. We both agreed in a couple years we would start trying. Fast forward to last year; I brought it up again and he confessed he was not ready and did not know when he would be ready. He explained how he wanted to get a better job (he works full time and has been working full time since 18) and wanted to wait till at least 25-27 to start trying. This really upset me as I was not expecting to wait till I was 27 to start trying to conceive. We went back and forth talking about our feelings. I explained I did not want to wait that long as my sister has already had one kid and I did not want a huge gap between the ages (that may be weird to say however my elder cousins always bullied me and left me out of things because of my age. She was okay with my elder sisters who were more her age.) My family also has a major risk of ovary issues; both elder sister have had cysts and my mom has had hers removed (I honestly can't remember what the medical term for it is) we went no where so I dropped it.

Fast forward again to today. I had asked my sister for her address so I can send her her and my nephew's gifts for Christmas as covid will probably prevent me from seeing them in person. My sister gave me her address and than surprised me with the news she was pregnant with baby number 2! I should also add she was pregnant before will her ex, she decided to have an abortion due to some a complicated reasons I will not get into. So she would have had three kids by now. I couldn't help but feel happy for her obviously as I love my sister and her boyfriend is a very sweet guy but I also felt heart broken and jealous. My sister is only a year older than I am and now she is 10.5 weeks pregnant with baby number two and already had a beautiful son , and I have my cat (whom I love to death) but so badly want to start trying for my own family.

I don't want to bring it up with my fiance because I know what he will say. He will just say he is not ready, that he wants to find a better job and go to college (he has said this both times we talked and not once even tried to apply to college or a better job) I love my fiance but it's so frustrating to not be on the same page with this. I know he would make an amazing father. But he wants to wait. And the more I wait the longer the wait becomes. Every time I've talked to him the time frame just gets pushed back more and more. I fear I'll be in my late 30's before he will feel ready (that's not to say having a baby in my 30's would be bad but that's just not what I wanted.

I've always known I wanted to be mother. I've always wanted to start trying about 22-23 but I'm just stuck in this loop of him saying one thing than changing it and pushing back the timeframe 😭😭 I'm just so frustrated. There's so many emotions going through me right now.

Thank you for letting me rant about my problems. I know there are people that have much much bigger problems than I have so just being able to get on here and rant has made me feel a bit better

Edit: No I am not trying to compete with my sister. I love my nephew and wouldn't want that to have happened any other way. Does it sting that she got pregnant again yes but I absolutely love her and my nephew and would not just have a baby to say oh look I can do it too. That's just a stupid reason to have kids.

Secondly no I am not pushing him into anything. It's a two way thing. Like I said before I was not going to bring it up but just needed to vent to get it off my chest. Never once have I told him this is want I want and it needs to happen. Have him and I had conversations yes, have we had fights hell no. We've talked about it calmly back and forth sharing out opinions and both sides are valid. So no I am no pushing him to have kids.

And thirdly while I do agree the reasons he says he wants to wait is amazing. Most guys just jump on board then disappear later. However like I said previously yet again he has never made an attempt to go to college or get a "better job" as he put it. It would be one thing if he had been looking into college or getting a different job like he said but it just feels like a sorry excuse sometimes. I will never pressure him into having kids or doing anything he doesn't want to do.

I don't need people telling me in so young and I should calm down a little. I came here to vent a little as I was a bit upset yesterday (and I am allowed to be a little upset) so like the rules say If you don't have anything good to say don't say it.