Why do the people who have been wronged have to apologize?

I don't like my uncle's wife she reminds of the the fiance on the parent trap with Lindsey Lohan but she's racist and wished down syndrome on my unborn son. She's even racist to my uncle he allows it but idc I didn't marry her and I don't have to deal with them unless it's on holidays or family gatherings. She was never like this before I got pregnant, she has trouble conceiving so I figured that's why. This was four years ago since then I have been attacked by her twice without even speaking to her or even being in the same room. It has always been via FT if she knows I'm around she'll start her shit. Last time I told her next time she sees me feel free to leap.

Well I went to a family gathering for the first time in forever. My favorite cousin just came home from deployment and he lives in California I had to see him.

She walks in our eyes meet her soul leaves her body she spent most of the night avoiding being near me until she got some liquid courage. Her and my uncle waltz over trying but failing horribly to squash the beef. They start talking bs about how she was raised differently and how I'm so sensitive. This was my face the whole time 🙄

I simply told them that they were pathetic and from now on when they see me act like they don't know me. I understand sticking up for your spouse but flat out enabling and making excuses for them I'll never get that. When my husband stepped in my uncle started puffing his chest telling my husband to check me. Even in that moment my husband was really calm, told them not my wife and took me back to my grandma's.

I told my grandma what happened while she sympathized with me she still made excuses for them and told me I had to apologize. Like why do the wronged always have to set things straight???