I need to talk to y’all about something

I’m having some relationship troubles. I have already talked to one of my closest friends and I honestly don’t have the strength to be asking all my friends and oddly I’d rather ask a group of strangers.

For 7 months I was my grandmothers care giver. For seven months I sat next to her everyday and talked about life and death. She was terminal. Which means there was no cure and she was dying.

When she started the process of dying it took a few days. One day my mom was like “she is not going to make it through the day.”

And then that day my SO told me he was going to his friends and I asked that he stay home because I just wanted him to be there for me because I had no idea how I was going to react or feel or what like I had never done this before.

He told me “I don’t want to sit around just waiting for your grandma to die.”

“It’s Just death. Watch this cartoon about death it’s not a big deal.”

Completely just.. did not care how I felt and made me feel like my grief about losing a loved one wasn’t valid. Yes it’s a normal ass part of life, losing your grandparents. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t fucking suck.

I don’t know if I was justified in saying this, but this was a really hard time for me and I was very emotionally raw and confused.

I stood up and said “what the fuck is wrong with you. Someone I love is dying right infront of me, and ALL I ask is that you be there for support but no when I ask for that, you bitch me out about what an inconvenience for you because you had plans today with your friends and you made those plans KNOWING my grandma didn’t have long and that I was told today was the day because you were sitting next to me when my phone was on speaker.”

And all he said to that is.. pretty much he moaned and groaned about having to call his friends to cancel making himself look bad. Tell them that your SOs grandmother is dying today, if they’re any sort of “friend” they will understand.

That day I sat on her bed and held her hands as she took her last breath. When I went back home crying he acted like I was small minded and kept reminding me that death is just a part of life and told me I was being dramatic again totally just fucking dismissing me. He fucking shrugged his shoulders. Didn’t even ask if I was okay.

He stayed home anyways because.. well I don’t know lmfao. I didn’t care, I didn’t WANT to be comforted by someone who either didn’t care or didn’t understand and didn’t even attempt to understand. Frankly I didn’t want him to be anywhere near me, I just sobbed alone.

I have resented him since then. It changed things a lot for me, i need to know it I’m right for being very very close to ending this relationship.

Oh and also I should be wayyy over my grandmas death by now. My grieving window is over by his standards.

I just.. I don’t want to spend my life with someone who.. acted like this when I needed him. When I was going through loss and pain he completely dismissed all of it.

And the friend I talked to said that he just may not understand because he hasn’t had a loss like this, and that he’s a guy and guys are dumb. But I don’t accept that. I needed him and he was not there. He just played his video Games all night while

I cried alone. He never came in and checked on me or ANYTHING.