when you don’t matter

Question

you know when you just feel like you don’t matter to anyone? like no one would notice if you weren’t around anymore?

Answer

Yes. I have no family. My best friend lives in a different country. I really am 100% alone. It's so hard. I really don't know how I stay out of the pit too be honest with you.

Answer

Somewhat. I’ve never truly had thoughts I was better off gone, but I realized this week if I acted on it, everyone close to me knows how unhappy I was just 2 weeks ago. People don’t check on me but I feel taken for granted. My big sister passed from molly last fall and sometimes I just miss her terribly. She was supposed to be on ssri medication but hadn’t taken it. My little brother and big sister have been depressed for all of their teens and I realized semi recently I had been too. I promise you somebody wants you here. Watching my (divorced) parents lose their oldest child was so horrific that I feel like I have to take care of my little brother and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. I sang Adele at my sisters funeral to a small chapel filled to the brim. People love you, even if they don’t tell you often

Answer

There will always be someone who notices if you’re gone. There will always be someone who will miss you. It’s not always going to be easy to stay alive, but some day it will be worth it.

when you don’t matter

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