I don't know how to keep going. TW: r*pe

I was r*ped by my boyfriend of 5 years. We lived together, we had a house together and a cat. He acted like it wasn't a big deal and bought me Plan B the next morning as if he was some knight in shining armor. I didn't feel safe around him anymore and he continued to act like everything was fine and I'd get over it...so I left him. I moved out by the end of the week and am living in my dad's basement until I can get a better job to afford an apartment of my own.

He kept most of my things and still has my cat. He's blocked me on everything, even my number, and is telling everyone that I'm just batshit crazy like his mom and I'm just doing this all for attention.

I got threats from his brother, some of his friends, and even his family. The family that took me in at my lowest. Not their Golden Child, oh no, I must have been making it up because you can't be r*ped when you've been in a relationship with someone for so long.

It's been a month. He's moved on of course. I know I did the right thing for me. Why does it feel like I didn't?? Why do I wake up every morning confused about where I am only to have everything hit me at once and have to spend the next hours trying to drag myself out of bed? Why am I still having nightmares nearly every single night?

I finally felt safe. I had a place that I wanted to come home to. I got homesickness for the first time. I loved my life, I loved OUR life together. I don't know how to keep going anymore. I just want things to be back to normal. I miss him so much. I miss my cat so much. I don't know what else to do.