Just one of those days

I’m having a hard time today. I love my son more than anything, but I’m exhausted. My husband is at work, my son is sleeping in his swing a few feet away, and I just want to leave him in there all day. That’s horrible to say, and I feel like a horrible mom even thinking it, but I just don’t have it in me today. When he wakes up, I’ll still get him out, change his diaper, and make a bottle because he needs me. I’ll hold him, play with him, and do tummy time like always, because he needs me. But god, I am so tired. He’s only 7 weeks old. Am I losing my mind?

My husband washed my son’s clothes and didn’t separate colors, and a new maroon onesie that had never been washed went in with everything else. Now he has pink socks, pink stains on some of his pjs and onesies, and I’m just crying because, I don’t even know why? It’s just laundry?

Most days I forget to eat or even take a drink of water until my husband gets home and cooks dinner. I’m exhausted, having light headed/dizzy spells randomly (even when I’m sitting still) and some days I forget to even brush my teeth until my husband goes to kiss me and I think, “my breath probably smells like shit.”

And the thing is, my son slept better last night than he ever has! He only woke up once to eat around 4am, then woke up for the day around 8:30am. Why do I feel more tired today than I have all week? I don’t have energy to do anything. I just took my first shower in almost a week yesterday because my husband was home and took my son. I can’t get myself to get up and put the laundry away, so I’m sitting on the couch watching tv and just feeling like a lazy piece of shit when there are things around the house that need to be done.

Can someone please just tell me it gets better?