Need advice

i have been struggling with anxiety for about a year or two now and I've recently been diagnosed with depression and I'm currently recovering from self harm I've been clean for 3 months or so and I started seeing a psychologist for 2 month's now and i just saw a counselor 3 weeks ago but lately the anxiety has become worse and i don't know if its beecus for about 5 weeks my insurance wouldn't cover my adderall so being off of it made me chemically unbalanced or if it is because of the holidays coming up and being around family and friends makes my anxiety levels sky rocket but because the anxiety has gotten worse again the urge to cut myself has become extremely high and I've tried talking to my friends or coloring or finding something to distract me like listening to music or taking a walk or cooking and nothing works and i don't know what to do anymore i just really want to cut myself because when I did selfharm i felt in control i felt a high i felt like even though everything else in my life is falling apart beyond my control at least cutting myself gave me control and made me feel better even though eventually it started to control me and after words i felt like shit but now i just really want to cut myself and idk what to do can anyone help me out with some suggestions?