So my boyfriend, well technically ex?, and I have been together just over 2 years. We have been living together since a couple months into our relationship. We’ve never had any major issues. We’ve bickered about messes but that’s really it. We fully trust each other and there’s never been any insecurities. We were both off for some time due to covid. I was off for about 2 months and he decided to quarantine (due to being high risk) about a month after I was laid off. He stayed quarantining for close to 6 months.

Fast forward to september, he had a really rough day and I joked with him trying to get him to come to bed so we could relax and take it easy. He asked if we could have a talk and that’s when he suggested we should take a break. He had gotten very depressed being off work and felt like he had lost touch with himself and who he wants to be. On top of that he does have an autoimmune disease and suspected liver failure at only 23. Nothing against me or our relationship, but he felt like he needed to put full focus on himself. I agree and we get into a a routine of me swapping stuff out since I didn’t have a solid place to move yet, only sleep. He would always text me back if I reached out and when we saw each other we would laugh, be affectionate, tell me he loves me, and even more.

Still going on early this month (November) I had someone vandalize my car and the persons home I was staying in. Terrified, he lets me come home for the time being (he owns the place, we don’t jointly own or rent together). He is now back to work at this point working 4 shifts a week ranging from 10-12 hours each on third shift, almost an hour away from where we lived. So he’s obviously very stressed and tired at all times. Things aren’t going terrible. Still on our break for sure, but we were okay. The vandalism to my car was really taking a toll on me as I’m trying to save to go to my own place. I kinda came at him out of my own stress and asked him why he wasn’t trying to help me which upset him badly because he was doing all he could. We got into it pretty bad and we did end up apologizing and “making up,” but after all of that he wanted to take a step farther back. He’s still really stressed with his own life and what happened stressed him out even more and he became unsure if he wanted anything at all.

Let me add, he’s not talking to anyone else. I asked him to be honest with me and he genuinely has no interest in meeting or talking to someone new. Actually when I come to swap stuff out he’s happy to see me, hugs me, and sometimes other things still end up happening. He let me stay the the the other day when I came to grab stuff and we stayed up all night binge watching a show. He’s on social media all the time and actually has stayed in my family’s Facebook group and reads their posts. He’s helped pack up my stuff, but things like our photos he’s kept for himself only put away.

I guess this situation has me so confused. It’s obvious there’s a lot of feelings here and neither one of us fully want to walk away from the other, but at the same time, neither of us truly know what to do. We’ve talked about just living separate for a while, but then things don’t make sense to either of us anymore and we go back and fourth.