I’ve been binging The Vow - an HBO documentary about Nxivm all weekend.

For those who are unaware, Nxivm started as a self-help company and quickly morphed into a secret women-only sex cult. Some may argue that it was a sex cult all along and that the leader, Keith Raniere, used his ability to influence and manipulate women (sexually and mentally based on their unique talents) in order to build a successful self help empire. That’s beside the point. Check out the Wikipedia for the Cliffs Notes.

The deeper I’ve gotten into the series (it’s 9 episodes and there are other ones on Starz, Lifetime, and some other channels), I find myself feeling equally angry at 2 of his top aides - a woman named Nancy (President of the company) and Allison Mack (supposed “Head” of the sex group).

Nancy used her gifts to recruit, build, and execute Keith’s vision. Allison used her’s to inspire a submissive sisterhood among the women she knew Keith wanted to fuck. She went so far as to orchestrate branding ceremonies at her home. The brand was a combination or her initials and Keith’s.

Finally, my question. I know these women also endured varying degrees of manipulation and brainwashing. Maybe they endured the most? Who can say. But I can’t shake the feeling that they had their own self-serving ulterior motives. I can’t shake the feeling that, on some level, they knew the exact role they each played and that they didn’t care. That they themselves are also sociopaths with malignant narcissism.

On the other hand, they are women and he was a genius at manipulating intelligent women to do his bidding.

Am I victim blaming?