So my baby is 1 yo now and the first 10 months were really hard for me mentally. I had some complications after delivery and was in a lot of pain and had to have surgery about 2 months after delivery.

My PPD was really bad. I would feel okay most days but at night I would just spiral. I feel like it was depressive episodes where something would make me upset and then I would just spiral from there.

I’ve been feeling better and I haven’t had a really bad episode since July. But lately I’ve just been feeling like numb almost all the time. My husband, baby and I have been living out of state for husband’s job, so I’ve been pretty isolated. We’re also trying to conceive again and I was just diagnosed with PCOS, so that’s been kind of draining as well.

Idk I feel numb like most of the time and sometimes I just get really sad for like no reason. I also haven’t been sleeping very well. I have a hard time falling asleep because for whatever reason right when I’m about to fall asleep I start to panic and then I have a hard time calming myself down again.

I just don’t know what to do though. I had an appointment with my obgyn at the end of October and I tried to bring this up to her and she basically told me that it wasn’t her problem and I’d have to see someone else to figure it out. I was really hoping she would give me a recommendation for a therapist or start me on a med to help. I feel like right after I had my baby a million different people were saying talk to your obgyn if you feel depressed and now that mine has written me off I just feel really lost.

Also, another barrier is that my insurance is out-of-network out-of-state, so I feel like it’s going to be really hard to find help in the like couple of days that we’re home to visit.