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I’d probably vote to use the frozen embryos. My wife wanted to carry but with her anxiety it’s just not something she feels comfortable doing as it involves getting off most medications and the hormones SUCK. She also doesn’t want to do any retrieval because again, hormones and she knows she has fertility issues. She absolutely loves our two kiddos, feels a very strong bond and I actually think her bond is closer to them than mine. She said they are absolutely her children and she would go to war for them. We have one vial left of Sperm and we feel like we should try for one more just because we spent the time picking it out and keeping it plus the money. So if I had embryos, I’d feel like it would be sort of weird not trying with them first. Especially if genetics isn’t an issue for you.
Choosing to not use my genetics
My wife and I had our first born by doing reciprocal ivf (also called co-ivf). We used my wife’s genetics because she is unable to carry for health reasons and I carried the baby to term. The process was so beautiful because we both felt so connected to the baby.
We are now planning baby #2 and our original plan was to do ivf again but with my genetics. As we get closer and closer I can’t help but feel guilty and regretful. We have seven perfect PGS tested AA embryos from my wife in the freezer.
Am I crazy for not wanting to do a retrieval and not have my own genetic child? I want my wife to feel included and for both of us to have that special bond and for it to feel like we made this baby together (She is so supporting of whatever decision I choose)?
Not many people understand what I’m going through because they haven’t done reciprocal ivf or aren’t a non bio parent. In my mind genetics means nothing to me, so why go through the retrieval process and inject myself with hormones for something that doesn’t really matter to me, especially when we have seven embryos still 🤷🏻♀️ I guess I’m just ranting at this point, but is there anyone out there who has had similar feelings?
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