I’ve been with my partner for going on 7 years now.

Started dating at 14 years old and now we’re married at 21.

In highschool he was trouble. Cheated, skipped school everyday to the point CPS got called on his family, smoked weed daily, got into alcohol, lied all the time, selfish basically a highschool teenage boy lol

In highschool actually my mom caught me sleeping over at his house and was grounded from seeing him for 6 months. (Until I was 18)

Once I turned 18 we were inseparable. He proposed to me on my 18th birthday actually and we even moved in together. Ever since then like I said, we’ve been inseparable. We got a house, a dog, been growing together.

He’s become a decent man. He doesn’t cheat or lie like he did when he was 14. He’s mature and faithful. But SOMETIMES ...

I notice these things about him

He drinks. He loves alcohol.

He smokes weed. All day everyday. Before work, during work and after. (Has even faked a drug test)

He started smoking cigarettes at work.

He plays video games 4 hours+ a day

He doesn’t do household chores

He doesn’t take care of himself (make his own lunch, take care of his responsibilities, won’t even make himself a dr appointment)

Has an online gambling problem

When he gets drunk he gets so emotional. I can’t stand it. I’m just anxious the whole time he drinks trying to make sure he don’t start crying or get sad. (One time he looked at a knife and literally out loud just said “you ever think about cutting your wrists with a knife cause I do”

When we have a disagreement he can’t just talk. He has to cuss and scream.

I’m scared cause this is my husband. This will be the father of my children one day. This is supposed to be my life long partner. What did I do..

I should add- I am pretty happy. It’s just when these things happen I have anxiety and I’m sad. He works 6 days a week and is the breadwinner in our family. He’ll do something for me if I ask. He’s made up to my parents and they actually like him now. It’s so bipolar and hard to explain. When I’m having a bad day, he’s the first person I call. When I need to feel comfort, he’s the first person I go to. I can’t explain what I’m saying I guess. I don’t expect anyone to understand