my boyfriend. now ex. we broke up. i miss him so much. he ended it. i love him so much still. it’s been weeks and it’s not getting better. everyday i want to text him. he ended it bc he was paranoid and ik that says something abt how he’s insecure and stuff but it still hurts. we won’t work long term i don’t think for that reason. he will always be scared i will cheat but ik i won’t. i love him and i don’t know how to prove that to him. god he’s my world and i can’t do this without him. i just want to tell him abt my life and how it’s worse without him in it. ik i need to let go. focus on me. but its hard when everyday i think abt him and love him. he’s my world yk. things go on. he seems happy enough. i need a new beginning but it’s hard. i can do this ik i can. but i don’t want to. i don’t want to let go. i love you. i love you so much. more than you will ever know. you’re the first person to make me feel safe in my body. i stopped self harming bc you were the one who showed you cared. you cared. you made me feel not so alone. my other half. i would wake up bc i knew you were gonna text me. days that were hard, the thought of you helped me get through them. after everything that’s happened in my life you helped me put things back together. god i want that again bc i feel broken. like shattered. i’m fragile and weak. but i never thought that was a bad thing. it made me compassionate and you always talked abt how how deeply i care for people was a great trait of mine but now i’m here wishing i would care less bc it’s hard. it’s too fucking hard. ik you love me. i still don’t think you ever fell out of love. i think you’re confused but i can’t prove that to you. you were there when my best friend broke me and left. you stayed. and now you’re gone. everyone’s gone and i think i’m the problem. i have to be. i hate me but i cant do that right now. i have to love me. but it’s hard. this will pass but god it would be easier if you were here.