Hey. I’m 18F (for context). So my grandmother is coming over for Christmas (we’ve all had COVID tests). While we were deep cleaning the house and cooking I asked my mother if it’s all right if I invite her for Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> but not Day. She started tearing up and saying that I don’t love her and stuff. I was kind of surprised. To me, Christmas Day should be about relaxing in front of a fire, maybe opening presents with your kids or by yourself, relaxing, drinking hot cocoa, reading a book under the covers, that sort of thing. Whenever my grandmother comes over we have to spend days deep cleaning and cooking and whenever she’s over we all poster and preen horribly and when she leaves I’m totally exhausted and just crash mentally and emotionally. Hence why when I’m an adult I don’t want to do that on Christmas- we can get together beforehand but I want to be able to actually have a day of relaxation.

My mother currently is barely speaking to me and said that I really hurt her feelings by wanted to “leave her alone on Christmas”. I mean, if family invited me somewhere on Christmas I’d feel very uncomfortable and like I just had my day ruined.

As you may be able to tell, I’m more ambiverted whereas my mother is pretty extroverted. I just, I’m not really sure how to reconcile this. She insists that we can’t have her over Christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>, she should be there for Christmas Day too and nothing means anything if “you don’t make a real investment to show love”. Having any sort of guest over (even my mother) sounds incredibly stressful and horrible on what’s supposed to be a nice day, not to mention the preparation that’ll go into it.

Any ideas? I know she’s not wrong, but I don’t think my head’s on backwards either.