I’m just not understanding...

I’m just at a loss. 4 days...4 days until I would of been in my 2nd trimester. You had no heart beat. My hcg levels took a deep dive down within a week. I just don’t understand. What did I do wrong. And yet they are having me carry you until Monday or Tuesday “hopefully” as they said. I don’t even know what a freaking D&E is. I’m terrified. The only thing I’m happy about is they are letting me keep you and have a funeral. I’m just so sorry I failed you....