Marriage probs

Paisley

Really need to vent and feel like I have nobody to talk to about this. My husband and I have been together for 3 years and just had our first child after struggling with mc and fertility issues. He is an amazing person and an amazing dad. Over the past year and a half our marriage has grown very lukewarm for a lack of better words. And I know that there’s not always going to be that “puppy love” stage and it comes and goes like seasons. I also know that parenthood is exhausting and sometimes your marriage takes a hit. But I just feel like I’m losing my best friend. We don’t exactly fight, it’s more of a distance thing. And I have talked to him about it many times. We don’t make time for each other, we don’t have sex very often, we don’t put each other first. My husband will sit on his phone after work talking to his friends and family and just give me the tiny bit of energy he has leftover. As for me, I always put us first. But when I get mad I say things I don’t mean sometimes. I also can be very quiet. I’ve been kind of struggling with anxiety and depression, but I have had boughts of that throughout our marriage. We both work a lot so I really value the time together we have at home, especially when baby’s sleeping and it’s just us, that’s out only few hours of alone time. Well he’s used that to sit on his phone talking to friends, go to bed early, go workout etc. and I understand that he needs to have some time to himself too but all’s I’m asking for is an hour or 2 of quality time a week. We’ve had my mom watch the baby a few times to try to get some time together and it always ends up being a disaster. He uses the majority of the time for other things and a small fraction to spend time with me. We’ve talked about this many times. And he always actually agrees with me. And things will be great for a week and then go back to how they were. We’ve probably been through this 5 plus times. I’m very direct with what I want, I tell him I just want time to connect with him. And I’m just not getting it, and the distance just keeps growing larger. I just don’t think I want to try anymore if this keeps happening. I express this to him and he will overcompensate for a week and try hard to the point where it seems fake, and then things just go back to how they were again. Can anyone relate