mom: “what do you want for christmas?”

me: maybe some skirts, i need some poofy or pleated ones

mom: *buys me five size 3 pencil skirts* “you shouldn’t wear tight skirts like that, they’re slutty and make you look fat”

really? i didn’t know! i definitely didn’t ask for non-form fitted skirts because i’m insecure about my body! and i definitely didn’t tell you i’m a size 7 and haven’t fitted in a 3 since middle school! oh, i need to dress more feminine because your homophobic ass thinks i look like a lesbian? hold on, lemme look for a skirt that i can pull up past my thighs without literally busting a seam! wow, i’m so grateful to have a loving mother. oh, i forgot “accepting and holy”! cant forget to add those or you’ll throw yourself a huge pity party because if i don’t reward your toxic behavior with specific praising words, IM the shitty person for not being grateful enough that you popped me out of your cooch and kept me alive