Finally Got the Truth out of MIL!!!

So for months I've been telling my SO that his parents are really crappy to me. They've been disrespectful, condescending, inconsiderate, and power-mad. It's been so bad that he and I split up for 2 months and I moved out with our daughter. So much pressure on our relationship came from the fact that his parents were disrespectful and hurtful to me and instead of defending me and setting them straight on the boundaries, he made excuses for them and dismissed my pain. I also understood that his cowardice was a huge player in the destruction of us.

His mom and dad like to play the "this is my house so I'll do what I want" card but because we've been paying rent, that shit don't fly with me. My landlord still has to respect me. You don't own me, you own my room and if you don't like it you can always invite me to leave and me and my rent money will disappear.

Covid has broken us financially and until I got injured I was working warehouse jobs. So now that my SO is gaining some confidence he's landed an amazing opportunity. We should be out in 3 weeks but I don't put evicting us past them. They're quickly losing control of their children and I'm sure they won't handle it well. My SO's younger brother literally moved out overnight without telling anyone if that helps put in perspective how bad their kids get it.

So back to the post, my SO was about to make us lunch. We get downstairs and his mom thinking it was hers cooked it. She says it's for FIL and that she made it for him but she offers to buy us another. I'm like it's fine and start cooking something else. My SO stands his ground and says it's ours. Then she says we can have some. Well a few minutes later she goes to FIL and I guess plays up how disrespectful my SO was. She was also pretty rude herself pointing out at first that it was for FIL. Like we couldn't even have some at first.

Mind you, we're broke and he has a child to care for. And this was literally our lunch for THAT day. FIL humiliates and belittles SO in front of me. Threatens to "fuck him up" for pointing out that his wife just took food out our mouths. I defend him, I'm basically ignored. Not to mention FIL disrespects me ALL the time. So if you're keeping up so far, it's OK for FIL to "defend" his wife. It's not OK for SO to defend his.

Later that evening FIL apologizes to SO. SO points out that if anyone deserves an apology it's me bc of other things they did and said they "would apologize if they need to" but never did.

So I run into MIL and ask if she apologized to SO. She says no he apologized to her. I tell her that their behavior was inappropriate, wrongfully handled, hypocritical, and they tore down their own son. She danced around not understanding why we're owed apologies saying it was directed towards him. I tell her that she shouldn't have called me in to talk too then but that they disrespected me as well and specifically said that I want an apology.

Mind you as I'm pointing this out, I'm being nothing but respectful and direct. I'm not beating around the bush and I'm not in her space, I'm not animated. I'm chill. Because I was raised to treat people the way you want to be treated.

She said she doesn't feel the same way so I asked straight out, "so you're not going to apologize?" She said no. I was kinda surprised. I expected at least a half-ass fake apology but she wasn't even willing to give me that. I did not expect to see her true colors and believe me they are nasty. I feel I can honestly say his parents do not like me. Probably because since their son met me, he's been less of an obedient soldier and more of his own person. I mean it's actually amazing. When see first started seeing each other he was so far inside himself. He acted like he needed permission to do anything. Like I'd have to pull words out of him when we argued. He never spoke his mind. And now he has the confidence to tell his parents when they're wrong. Even my own mom was speechless when I told her how well he handled it.

SO is finally on my side. I do feel bad that they are jeopardizing their relationship with their son but after a year of being pitted against each other, I'm happy we're on the same page. My own mother is toxic and abusive herself and growing up without stable parents I felt so alone for most of my life and even most of this relationship. You don't know how happy it makes me to know I have someone who loves and protects me.

Every woman out there dealing with toxic in laws, just remember that you and your partner should be a team. Also if you're unhappy with how they treat you chances are your SO isn't being treated well either. Be a unified force. And remember your love for each other. We almost lost it.