I don’t have covid symptoms. I only work 3 days a week but have been getting more and more depressed, mainly because everything is shut down here and I have 4 days off/wk (in a row) where I can’t do anything but sit at home.

I live alone. I’m on third shift but all my friends are on first shift so I have no one to talk to because they’re always sleeping when I’m up. Stores and restaurants/fast food places close early because of covid. My city used to be full of places open 24hrs, now the only places that are 24hrs are a few of the gas stations. I rarely am able motivate myself to get up or leave the house in time to go to the store or pick up food. I’m too depressed to cook. I’ve been eating one meal/day and it’s all been microwave meals out of the freezer or a bowl of cereal, easy things. I have a very difficult time finding motivation to shower or do dishes, or laundry. Occasionally I get motivated to do things in the middle of the night but then I don’t because it would be noisy and my downstairs neighbors are sleeping.

Last week I called in for 2 out of the 3 days I was scheduled to work because I just could not motivate myself to leave the house, or even get dressed or shower. Tonight is my first of 3 days scheduled again and I felt the same way. If I called in again I would’ve been fired so I applied for a 14 day leave for Covid-19 symptoms. I really can’t afford therapy right now unless I only did it like once a month, which I don’t think would be beneficial. I’m afraid to go back on antidepressants because the last one I was on made me suicidal and I came very close to taking my life. I don’t know what to do anymore.

I applied to transfer to first shift at my job but they don’t review internal applications until the end of each month. So if I got the job I wouldn’t switch shifts until February. I think being on first shift would help. I would get more sleep and would actually be awake when stores/restaurants are open and my friends are awake.