Ohhhhh ladies, I'm not ok. I just learned last night as I was prepping for #3 that my partner was throwing away cloth diapers that had poop before we eventually switched to disposables as I just couldn't keep up being as sick as I was. Half of my beautiful stash is gone, and I had about 50 and they're NOT cheap!!! 😭 He said he was doing it slowly because I wasn't noticing, ya' know as I was puking so much that I was making my throat bleed.

And I realize that it's not even about the cloth diapers themselves that are the issue. It's him taking advantage of me being sick with HG, insane exhaustion, and going through a depression low to devalue a process that means so much to me. It also brought up a few more underlying issues that I've never been able to piece together til now, all coming back to unconsciously devaluing my ideas and wishes for our family.

On one hand, he knows he fucked up, and is paying to replace them. But on the other, I'm going to get home from work and he's going to think that everything's ok since I've said my peice and be all loving, and I'm just dreading that. I don't even know a good way for him to make it "better", all I know is that an "I'm sorry" and a monetary replacement just isn't cutting it.