I wouldn't usually rant to strangers but I'm having major issues and don't really want to talk to my friends about it. Before my husband and I were TTC we very rarely had sex. We've been together 9 years and I have a pretty low sex drive, I can kind of take it or leave it. So my husband stopped thing to initiate because he always got rejected, so we just never did it. It was his suggestion to start TTC because he's in his thirties and wanted to get on with it so I was happy. I'm a planner and when I realised the chances each month aren't actually that great I went into major planner mode, tracking everything and logging stuff, letting him know my fertile days etc. I knew it would be an adjustment to go from never doing it to doing it every week but I figured after a while it would be one more natural and we would be away laughing. So I've had to initiate every time because he's still in the mindset he's going to get knocked back, which I understood so was like, I'll take the lead. We were going to do it last night because he's away today and my peak day is tomorrow but the shit hit the fan big time. He doesn't like me planning which I get but I want to optimise our results and really make it happen and if I don't bring it up it just won't happen which means I have no chance of getting pregnant. He got really upset because he confidence is low from us not doing it much and he doesn't like that there's no romance. I said, you can put romance in, or even initiate like it's all up to me and I'm trying my best. Basically he's too scared to try and have sex with me but doesn't like the why I try to have sex with him and doesn't like the lack of romance but doesn't know how to be romantic and I'm just like...... I get what he's saying but if we just do it when we feel like it, I will not get pregnant because we never feel like it. I thought I was doing really well and we were having like a good sex life again but then it turns out he's been unhappy with it the last few months and I'm so beyond confused. So we had a massive fight and I slept in the spare room and cried all night and now he's gone away for the weekend. Sunday is my peak day and I don't even know hot to approach it, if I say nothing that's another month we are out but if I bring it up we could end up fighting again. Sorry this is majorly long but I just don't know wtf is going on. I want us to have a baby so bad but we can't seem to get out shit together.