Husband says he doesn't want another baby

I was told I would never get pregnant from several ob/gyns due to PCOS. So before we got married we decided to start trying in 2016. We conceived our son after the first month of trying and we were soooo excited. I was high risk due to diabetes so I had a few complications but our son ended up being born 2 days away from our scheduled c sections at 36wks and 5 days. Somehow he stopped get oxygen to his brain from the cord and hadn't been moving. They aren't sure what happened, but they thought he had cerebral palsy (he technically does; it's just very mild). You wouldn't know it unless I told you. He's very healthy and of course perfect to us. We planned on having multiple kids when we married. We also wanted to have them close together. A few things happened where we decided to wait because of finances, but this last year we got back on track and started trying for another baby in August of 2020. It hasn't happened but there were a few close calls. Before we started trying in August, exactly a year ago in January 2020 we thought we were pregnant but went to the doctor and blood work was negative. We were both very disappointed.

So flash forward to now....last night he told me he didn't want to have another baby.

I am DEVASTATED.

I'm a bit old fashioned, I didn't go after a career. I wanted to be a wife and a mother. I wanted to stay home and take care of my husband and kids. I married my husband with our plans of having several kids. I didn't want just one child. I want him to have siblings.

He told me his reasons for him not wanting another is the fact that he doesn't want to risk what happened, happening again. Doctors explained that there was nothing that could have prevented it, it was just a weird thing that happened. The main reason is that he thinks our son is so perfect he couldn't possibly love another baby as much as our son.

I really don't get this reason.

Being a mother is my identity, it's all I've ever wanted and it brings me so much joy. I feel like I have so much love and patience to give. I want to have and raise another kind and sweet child.

He says he won't change his mind. I've considered changing mine so I can stay with him but I would be giving up my dream. He thinks that I would eventually hate and resent him. So he ultimately wants to co-parent with me and remain close best friends. I love him so much, this has shattered me. He was my endgame, my forever. It feels like I don't have any option because he's pushing me to find someone else.

I did ask him if its me, or another woman. He said no and I believe him. He's never lied to me....but he did keep this from me for a year since he told me he's been feeling like this for about a year EVEN WHEN WE WERE TRYING TO CONCEIVE. I asked him what changed and he said; "I've grown up. Came to terms with my feelings. I realized how scary it actually is. And how I can't be scared like that again. How I don't think I could love someone else like that".

So I can stay but he thinks I will later resent and hate him which is definitely a possibility, or I can leave and find someone else who can give me what I want and NEED.

What are your opinions??