Let me start by saying I’m 22 years old and I have a fiancé and I’m currently 7 weeks pregnant.

When I turned 6 weeks we decided to tell my mother in law and sister in law. That went amazing and great there was tears and everything. But then we had to tell my parents. My dad I have absolutely no problems with he’s great. But my mother on the other hand is another story.

So we go over to their house and we tell them. And since I was only 6 weeks I didn’t want to tell the rest of family yet aka grandmother and aunt. When we told them I said “I don’t want to tell grandma or my aunt yet” and my mom goes “how can I not tell her” and continued to go on about how if I didn’t tell her that she’d tell her cause it’d slip out. So whatever we call my aunt and grandma on WhatsApp and we start talking and my aunt was half awake and she hung up cause she didn’t realize what was going on. My grandma says congrats and that’s it. No one on my side was too supportive they were shocked apparently. The next morning my mom starts blowing up my phone because my aunt is so upset she didn’t get to hear the news from me when I included her on the conversation and we tried calling two more times. So my mom tells me to call her or to go by her work. I texted my aunt and I said I was sorry she didn’t find out the way she wanted and so forth. One I didn’t call her because she was at work and two because she already knew and my fiancé and I were out of town and going out to spend time together before traveling home.

Fast forward to last Thursday. I was on my way home and just talking to my mom about my birth preferences. And she kept going on and on about how she had to have two c sections and that I’d probably have to deal with it too. I told her to stop being negative about it because every pregnancy and experience is different. And she goes to start telling me labor isn’t magical and this and that. Now I’m kind of annoyed. But I just said “I’m not sure id want pitocin because I’ve heard it makes your contractions harder to handle and plus I hope whenever my water breaks I don’t want to rush to the hospital because I don’t want to be sent home because we rushed there to only be 2cm” and then she told me I was being snobby and that it was “only your way or no way” I asked her what’s so wrong with a birth preference and she said “that doesn’t make any sense” and I kept trying to tell her that her experiences aren’t going to be the same as mine and she kept telling me I was being childish and I said fine then I just won’t talk about how I’m feeling for the next 9 months so I’m not being any certain way and then she told me to hang up and call her when I grew up. So I told her to stop being like my grandma because she’s super super negative about everything.

A while later I messaged her and told her she hurt my feelings because she doesn’t seem to realize it’s our child and not her child and she was disrespectful to me. We somewhat make up and whatever.

Then I’ve been posting random quotes on my Facebook story and I posted a picture with a caption “if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it at all” which is just a general statement and that’s it. Well my mom took it that it was about her and told my grandma. So my grandma messages me and tells me “everyone should respect everyone” and this and that. And I said “yes I agree but some people just don’t respect others” so then my grandmother comes back saying some stuff like “ everyone should respect everyone. Only god can judge. I have muted your Facebook stories because you use it to hurt people and I’m not into the drama. Find something to occupy your mind. Prayers help tremendously”

So now I’m confused because I said nothing to her for her to act out. Well my aunt gets involved too and starts talking about how I should rise above and whatever happens do it for me and blah blah blah. So then I send the messages to my mom and I ask “so what did I do now” and my mom says “I know your Facebook post was about me and I told her” so then I said it was definitely out of context and not even about her. Which it wasn’t. However the attention seekers unite.

So I ended up telling my grandmother that “just because I’m not my brother doesn’t give you the right to make me out to be a disappointment. I hear a lot of things about you and I don’t say anything because it’s not my place. You don’t need to get in the middle of things between my mother and I.” And I showed my mom.

My mom got all snappy and told me she wasn’t going to deal with the pettiness and things like that. However I literally did nothing.

Now I’ve also made the comments to my mom “whenever you guys babysit I don’t want you leaving the house with the baby” and she told me “that’s dumb, why would you be like that” and I said “for our child’s safety, if I want my child going somewhere I’ll take them there myself.” And she’s like “obviously I’d ask you” and I said “that’s not the point” then she told me it was dumb yet again.

I just feel like I’m surrounded by toxic family and I’m so over it. We moved 2 and a half hours away and I still get texts from my grandma at 22 years old because she thinks everything my mom says is correct.

I just feel my pregnancy experience so far has just been ruined by them trying to control my birth preferences between it’s dumb or unnecessary or snobby. I’m the only one upset while they continue with their days like nothing happened.

Am i wrong to feel upset?