I’m over here sobbing right now. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. Last year he was getting ready to propose. I think he was more excited to get married then I was. He wanted to get married as soon as possible (while still having a small wedding). We had all these plans. We were going to buy a home together this spring and get married next fall. He was going to propose as soon as he saved up enough for the ring.

Then we got into a big fight over some lies I caught him in. I ended up forgiving him but his attitude after changed. He said he no longer planned to propose and we were moving to fast and that It scared him. Mind you, this was the guy that had his mind set since last July to propose to me, he just needed to save up the money. We actually even started on the plans for the wedding and the house.

He is currently over seas right now (just got sent a couple months ago) and claims he wants to make sure we are “compatible” living together when he gets back before he decides if he still wants to marry me. He’s leaving me to buy the house alone, is not helping me financially at all with the house he plans to move into, aside from paying his share of “rent” when he moves in. He still feels he can give his opinion on furniture and remodeling (that I’m paying for alone). He’s moving his entire life into my house yet is still not sure when he wants to marry me?? The kicker is, he still wants to get me pregnant, but without being married.

He made such a huge deal about how scared he was of us talking about the future so I dropped it. Until tonight. I asked for reassurance that he’s not just wasting my time. He gave that to me and then I asked when he thought we’d get married, especially if we have a kid. He freaked out and said he didn’t know and couldn’t answer that, he said it could be 6 months or it could be years. That was the end of the conversation.

So I’m sitting here crying because I love this man but how can someone go from being so excited to get married, to not wanting to for potentially a few years. I did nothing wrong. I didn’t cheat, I didn’t lie, I wasn’t crazy or controlling. Shit, I’m even buying “us” a house by myself. I’m giving him an easy life when he gets back to the states. I’m taking in his crazy dog who destroys everything, which in turn is going to turn my 2 angel (Dogs) worlds upside down. I’m giving him “wife” shit with only girlfriend status.

So someone please tell me why he would just change his mind and be so scared about the future yet be ok with having a whole child with me and living with me.