Hi , so I’m pretty young and I’ve been in a very long relationship for my age (6 years)

We jumped into thing quick.

And he’s not been the greatest of partners to me.

He’s lied about girls making moves on him, he’s broke up with me 3-4 times and I’ve ALWAYS begged and begged for him back.

He’s kinda controlling now ? and my friend was the one who told me this. I had no idea this wasnt what everyones relationship was like

for example I cant go out clubbing with my friends because he gets mad with me, he’ll blow down my phone and ask loads of

questions.

I’m not allowed male friends and to be too close to coworkers that are male because he will be mean about them and instantly say he doesn’t like them.

Everything i do is wrong in his eyes , he makes me feel like I’m crazy because I’m in CBT ( counselling for anxiety and depression something I suffer badly with) and even when I’m having a really bad day he’ll say “everyones got shit to deal with you don’t see me complaining the way you do”

and calls me too paranoid when I ask him normal things.

He makes mean comments and accusations a lot too

I went to my mums house for her birthday gathering and he accused me of cheating because I was ‘too dressed up’ and because I had a drink he was angry with me (I did invite him along but he never comes around my family)

He always brings me down about things I really like and enjoy which makes me second guess things.

And I just don’t want to be around him as much

It sounds so mean and I feel awful for saying this but he kinda grosses me out, he don’t clean, he won’t go out on walks with me he’s gotten so lazy and his hygiene is so bad I’ve begged him to go to the dentist because it’s been 7 years and he’s got real real bad plaque buildup and he barely showers

I’m noticing everything wrong with him and I don’t think Im in love with him anymore ?

I’m not sexually attracted to him , we’ve not had sex since 8 months ago and every time he brings it up I just cringe

I just feel awful and I feel very confused because usually I’m the one begging for him to love me and I don’t know what to do because he’s really clingy at the moment and doesn’t like me leaving him to even go to the shops and I don’t want to put him in a vulnerable situation

But I’m 22 and I’m missing out on so much life because I feel so restricted like I’m not allowed to do anything