I have struggled really bad with major depressive disorder really bad for years. After having my daughter I will say I was “recovering” or doing much better and without meds. My daughter is 10 almost 11 months old and I am currently 11 weeks pregnant. My marriage has been very rocky and I can feel myself getting depressed again. Though I need a referral from a doctor to get back into my counselor. I’m going to talk to my midwife when I go back for my next appointment but I’m really starting to get bad again. I barely want to move out of bed. I literally force myself as much as I can to go to work. I barely eat. I just feel hopeless. I think my marriage plays a big part in this which we are looking for a counselor but also I know I’m not ready for another child. I love my daughter so so much and I do my best to be a good mom to her but I’m just not ready for another. I could never have an abortion because I know I would hate myself in the future. Especially after I’ve already seen my baby on ultrasound and know that it’s little heart is beating strong. I’ve only talked about this to one person and they suggested adoption which I said no to because I’m afraid of judgement as I work and live in a small conservative town but after thinking about it I could bless a couple who can’t have children. I brought it up to my husband and he said absolutely not. I’m just looking for some positivity and encouragement here. Thanks everyone...