Discouraged about college

Hey ladies,

I recently made a big step in my recruitment process, I emailed the coaches of my top schools and sent them an introduction email.

USC has been my absolute dream school for as long as I remember, and so when the head coach responded to my email within 12 hours offering to set up a campus visit sometime in august, I was over my head excited.

I had been expecting to wait at least a month for a response, because a school like USC is going to be getting emails from hopeful upcoming students left right and center.

I’ve always had issues with my dad but of course I told him. He was kinda just like “meh okay, forward me the email” and I didn’t expect much more from him since our relationship isn’t great.

It might just be my daddy issues, but I was really longing for some form of approval, pride, or excitement when I told my coach. He’s been coaching me for 5 years now, so we have a pretty close (but appropriate) bond. Well I was excited to go tell him when I showed up at practice today.

But his response almost made me cry. He said “do you REALLY think you are good enough to play at that level?” And I said “I hope so” and he didn’t say anything, but his face said everything. His eyebrows raised for a split second, then he sighed and frowned.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more discouraged or disappointed in myself in my life. Like I don’t know what his intentions with that reaction were but it seriously cut deep.