My Mom and I havent been speaking for over a year, except a few random times - due to multiple toxic things she’s been saying/spreading. I’m almost due with my second baby and haven’t heard from her the entire pregnancy except her texting me she wasnt going to my virtual shower my Grandma put together for me but would send a gift - would’ve rather had her there. First pregnancy I didn’t see her the entire time either because she was taking care of my older sisters kids for 11 months straight (my sister works and kept getting into fights with every babysitter). My sister is definitely the favorite and can do no wrong - we haven’t talked in a few years due to her bashing me being a stay at home mom.

My mom has just said so many horrible things about me and always is stepping over boundaries about my kids that I would stand up for myself and tell her that’s not okay - which she said I was wrong for and not “respecting her” - she talked crap about me to multiple family members to the point they were messaging me/texting me and my husband about how I need to grow up and stop being so “sensitive and horrible to her because she’s my mom” . They all didn’t show up to the virtual shower either (the few that messaged me, everyone else came that isn’t involved). Basically my mom threw a tantrum until they all didn’t come and were “on her side”. After the baby shower I told her if she wanted to see me she could plan something herself I was so angry. Nothing since.

Now that I’m about to have my baby, I don’t know what to do about the situation with my mother. Because of COVID she can’t come for the birth anyway (don’t want her there tbh) and not sure if i should even tell her when the baby comes or just wait until she contacts me? What would you do? Should I just let her go?