Hi, I’m having a bit of a rough time right now. I run a design business and it is so important to me. I love my career, I love the challenges, I love getting to work with clients and getting to create stuff everyday.

I have fibromyalgia and recently got off of my medication because it was so sedative - I was living in a fog. It had been helping with my anxiety but because I was getting a lot better at managing it myself with lifestyle changes and therapy I thought I’d be fine. I also have bipolar so I can’t take any antidepressants which is what they usually use to treat anxiety. Anyways.. The withdrawals sucked coming off it and lately I’ve been tired and in more pain. I was excited to get off it and had a lot of goals but now I just feel sad.

I know I have a lot of issues that could maybe prevent me from accomplishing things other people would but I have fought tooth and nail to get to where I am in life and build a successful career and a happy life. I’ve overcome a lot of obstacles and beat the odds. I’m also sober and have spent years in therapy, support groups etc. I sometimes feel ashamed like I am this successful person on the outside but I’m carrying all of this baggage.

I’m also moving into a new neighbourhood further from the city with my partner in a couple of weeks. Totally new area that I don’t know at all. Going from a small condo to a house rental. I’m excited but it has also been so stressful because my current landlords have boundary issues and it’s a huge change from what I’m used to. I lived in my condo for five years.

Anyways I am just under so much stress, I feel like I am failing at my work and I can’t do enough. I am afraid of looking weak, I am afraid of disappointing people, I am afraid of falling behind. I am angry that my body is working against me, getting in my way, and I just feel lost. I am starting to resent the people that I work with. I just don’t know how to get through this transition and how much it is interfering with my ability to work.

Thanks for letting me vent