My one year old (almost two next month) grabbed my phone tonight and repeated said “mama, dada? “ .. and I just didn’t know what to respond or what to say, I tried to say no baby... but idk, what do I say to her? She only understands so much..

Back story - Long story short, last week my BD gave me a black eye in front of her & my infant. He then took off, I called police & now they are looking for him. This is the third assault. This is the third time him breaking the restraining order. This is just another event of him doing in front of her.

He doesn’t provide for them, doesn’t help with them, doesn’t even call to check up on them before the restraining order was put into place. But she & him always had the most strongest bond for some reason. She’s always loved dada, when he was on the phone she wold light up the room with her smile, when he did get to see them, she would be so fcking excited & they would play & play and wrestle and laugh.

Now I’m sitting here crying, telling my self this abuse is not my fault and it’s not my fault that he’s not here for the girls, but I feel like it is 😣 I feel like this is all my fault, I feel like I’m taking her favorite person away.. but he’s not safe to be around, I strongly believe he’s gonna kill me eventually...

What do I tell my baby when she ask again?