Sigh. So, my husband’s family is incredibly Catholic. I’m currently in the process of converting. Every time we have a kid, they start asking about the baptism before they are even born. I wasn’t raised Catholic, though my parents were. The issue of godparents has been very frustrating for us.

With our first daughter, we chose my aunt, who is Catholic, and my husband’s best friend who was a “Christian witness”, as you can have one non-Catholic godparent. It was a disaster. Within months, his friend got a new girlfriend and turned into a different person and they had a huge falling out, and now we never speak to him. Then for the first time ever, I had a falling out with my aunt. That has just recently been repaired, but it was a nightmare.

We just had another little girl, and my in-laws are asking about the baptism. Sigh. Last timed my brother in law was offended he wasn’t godfather. He’s a hot mess. He’s 48, he’s homeless and jobless and thinks he’s living his best life. I’m fine with him being the Catholic godparent, and we have told him he can be. But he is confused, because I had to clarify what a Catholic godparent is versus a legal “godparent”. I had to make it clear that in our wills, he does not get either child. He threw a fit and said we were changing the rules of godparents. Which is false, he just never understood the concept.

Despite that, he is always bragging about being the godparent. I am glad he is proud, but it’s becoming an issue.

My sister visited for the birth of my infant to help with my toddler. She is not Catholic, and she and my husband have had a falling out last July. He is cordial to her, but doesn’t love the idea of her being a godparent. He says he doesn’t think she’s “a good person”, which is very rude and inaccurate. Especially when compared to his brother. Ha. But, we have to both agree on godparents.

While my sister was here, my BIL also happened to be squatting in our basement. He kept bragging about being The Godfather. I hadn’t approached my sister about being a godparent. I know this hurt her feelings, especially since she is far more involved in the kids’ lives than my BIL.

My step mother in law is amazing. She’s devout Catholic and she is great with our kids. She mentioned being a godparent. Honestly, she would be a great choice, the best choice in the sense of a true Catholic godparent. However, in the past I told my mom she couldn’t be a godparent because she is a grandparent. So by choosing her, I would probably hurt my mom and my sister’s feelings. However, my husband thinks we should keep his step mom on reserve for if we have a third kid.

Anyone have any helpful advice? It’s already so stressful being a non-Catholic person having to plan these baptisms and such. 🤦‍♀️