Venting

I am trying to be positive but some days are better than others. After months and months of TTC and doctors appointments here I am 34 and thinking you know in high school they put the fear of God in you about how not to get pregnant. But as an adult who has been TTC for months you start to wonder why can’t I get pregnant ??? ( when I’m doing everything I was told not to).

why does every day surround me with surprises were pregnant ( again), pictures of friends and family’s kids and advertisements of kids it just all soo overwhelming. I am trying to be positive towards people because honestly not all of them know my issue. But I swear the whole “ don’t worry when you have a baby and “you will know one day or “ the baby kept me up all night I bet it’s nice just you two” but you know as I sit here month after month after month planning sex, planning and tracking only to be let down again and again and again. As I stare at the two empty rooms that were supposed to be for kids and wonder why.

I know my husband is sad too when we get every invite to family and friends baby showers and birthdays party’s and we look and it like a whole Another world that we just are not able to be a part of.

Yes, clearly today is a bad day but today was the first day of my period I was yet again hoping not to get and I am just ..... exhausted.