I just need to rant or maybe someone can give me some advice on what to do. So long story short my SO has a daughter and I cannot stand her mother. We also have a son together who’s still under 1. So keep in mind that I’m not some random lady trying to be a b*****. I also have no issues with their daughter, I love her like my own. So please don’t try and say that’s where my anger is coming from.

My issue with her is that I think she forgets that my SO has a life too. She’s always asking him to take their daughter extra days, but whenever he asks her to take her sooner because we has something going on she says no. She always says no. She wouldn’t even take her when I was in labor which was very disappointing. Yet she recently just got her tonsils taken out and expects us to take their daughter for over a week. She also broke up with her fiancé and decided to move an hour and a half away with some other guy she barely started dating. Anyway, they meet about half way and she is NEVER on time. It’s frustrating because my SO is gone for hours waiting on her. And they meet twice a week so I’d hope you could understand why that’s so frustrating.

I know she’s not going anywhere but I just feel at a loss on what to do, because I’m honestly starting to feel some resentment against my so for not telling her she needs to stop being so selfish and expecting everything to be handed to her. Obviously I’d like him to tell her in a nicer way so it doesn’t hurt their coparenting but it’s really affecting my happiness and I feel like we are constantly stressed trying to figure things out because she never wants to help but always expects us to do everything in return.

Edit: just to be clear we have had her for the week so her mom can have her surgery and I had no problem taking her. I’m just voicing my frustrations. And yes maybe I sound petty but we’ve never not taken her due to everything. I’m just saying that her mom stresses me out because we have to do everything around what she chooses and I do feel like she needs to be more considerate about everyone involved. I just knew someone would make me out to sound like the bad person. But what about the mom? She’s the one who decided to move away for a man she barely knew so She the least she could do is make sure she’s on time. Because that is taking up our time. And it wouldn’t be a big deal if it was 10 minutes here and there but it’s literally hours. And I was just using me being in labor an example where we really could of used her help but received none. But we’re expected to drop everything to help her. Parenting should be 50/50 as much as possible but instead she takes advantage of us any chance she has. Not sure why anyone would try sticking up for someone like that but I will be the bigger person. Was just looking for some advice on how to deal with my emotions toward her. Thank you