I could make this post SUUUUPER long, because there's a lot of details, but my main problem that I'd like personal stories of is if you've ever found yourself overreacting with your spouse, how did you manage it?

My husband has his own issues, and we have some major communication breakdowns (working on figuring out how to better communicate with him because our communication styles are not the same). But I find myself getting really upset and some of the stuff he says/does.. and I harbor a lot of resentment towards him for some stuff he has said to me while angry (name calling, gas lighting, really passive aggressive, mocks me, just really mean stuff.. then says I pushed him to do it).

I realize there are many, many other issues here but whenever I try to fix them I get so frustrated and I flip out. Which makes things worse. Any tips? (Saying "just talk to him" won't help. I need tips on how to control my own anger so that I can approach him better).