I'm having a really hard time today. I delivered my baby at 20 weeks. People are asking what I want for Christmas and it is my son back. Even though I am pregnant again I want that baby back. Don't get me wrong I know how blessed I am but I'm struggling. I miss my son so much I can't breathe sometimes. It was my body that failed him so it's my fault. God I just want my son back. I miss him so much 😭😭 I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to live without him. Everyone else is moving forward and I'm stuck. River I miss you so much and I love you forever