Boyfriends Ex-Fiance

Okay so here is a little back story (kinda long, sorry) My current boyfriend is technically my high school sweetheart. However, we’ve dated on and off since 2009, (both will be 30 this year). Eventually we both ended up in long term relationships in which we both became engaged Mine 5 years his 7(his ex fiancé went to the same HS as us). I have 1 daughter and he has a daughter and son. Sooo ironically, we both got engaged the same year and our engagements ended within 2-3 months of each other’s ( we had no communication at this time) we reconnected and once his ex found out she gave me hell. She would make inappropriate comments, try to get him to her house, and it even escalated to her contacting me on fb saying how I need to be accessible to her if I’m around her kids and she doesn’t respect our relationship because he doesn’t respect her....blah blah. I remained respectful told her I prefer not to interfere with their co-parenting while him and I are at this early stage in dating again. Then a few weeks later she send me screenshots (old messages, she blocked the dates) of him and her having a personal convo basically saying they fucking and he still wants her blah blah. Ultimately him and I took a break, but got back together about 6 months later. So I told him that I would prefer if he let his kids mother know upfront that we are in a relationship and would like peace and respect from everyone. She claimed she was over that and didn’t care. However, she still asks him questions pertaining to his personal life and what he does with me. I decided to send her a message that basically said “hey, I know we got off on the wrong foot but as mother’s I want us to have some open line of communication especially if our kids will continue to be around each other and my relationship is getting pretty serious. And that I want no drama or have any malicious intentions and that we can sit down and talk if she prefers. She texts my boyfriend asking why am I contacting her and that I need to talk to him first before reaching out to her and then completely ignored my message. Am I wrong to now feel like I want to act as if she doesn’t exist? (From my end) i would never interfere with him seeing his kids, but I’m no longer comfortable with him doing activities with her and just the kids if I’m not invited.