I don't know what kind of reaction I'll get with this post, but please, please be kind. My logical brain is fully aware how insensitive and ridiculous this is, but I am feeling it nonetheless. I am already a mother of 2 beautiful kids, 7 and 9. My oldest is a boy and youngest is a girl.

When I found out I was pregnant again, I craved another girl. I felt all throughout the pregnancy I was carrying a girl. Almost everyone I know guessed it would be a girl. I found out today I am having a boy, and the reaction that came out of me has caught me so off guard. I'm beyond sad, dissociated, lost, full of grief, and of course on top of all of those feelings, I have immense guilt for feeling any of those above things. I don't know what's wrong with me and I don't know how in this moment to feel happy. What can I do? Why do I feel this way? I know how selfish this comes off, but I don't know where else to go to to get support. My partner doesn't understand, and neither do I. Please help.