Can we talk hemorrhoids?

With my first I never had them, however with my second delivery I got them πŸ™ƒ my son is almost 10 weeks old and I still dread going number 2. It hurts so bad when I have to go and when I do go sometimes it causes me to bleed. I’ve tried stool softeners but I don’t want to become dependent on them. Has this happened to anyone else? If so how long did it last?