Coparenting

I’ve been separated for 9 months, I have a 3 year daughter. Prior to our separation I was the sole provider for the family, I paid the bills, worked and took care of my daughter, step son & ex. He worked as well but when he walked in the door he had no desire to play with the kids, change diapers, bathes, household chores, dinner. Literally never lifted a finger! It got to the point where I felt like I was raising a third child, I had to lay his clothes out every morning, hand him his towels hot from the dryer after showers, make his coffees, even grab his razor when he wanted to shave because he.”didn’t” know where anything was, which was bullshit. Anyways, when I left him he had never bathed his daughter, never put her to bed, woke up with her, made her breakfast literally never did anything so it’s all knew to him when he does take her for the day and I’m trying to be calm but it’s freaking annoying! He doesn’t follow any schedule, he refuses to use the toddler bed, to not give her soother at night, only water in sippy cup, he will lie and say he bathed her when he didn’t, he won’t change her clothes if she stays the night, she will come back in what I sent her in and it’s driving me nuts, I weaned her off the soother; into the big girl bed, off the bottle and he’s giving her all these things when she doesn’t even whine for them! Every time he has her she comes back totally thrown off her schedule and completely miserable, it’s not rocket science, she doesn’t nap anymore and he keeps forcing her to and I don’t know why because it fucks her sleep schedule up!

I’ve tried talking to him and saying hey, this is what I’ve been working on and where were at! I’m not trying to be bossy either but a schedule/routine is needed for toddlers, it just seems easier to parent on the same page and I truly want that with no problems but he just refuses to listen to me and lies about everything