My bf (24) and I (23) have been dating for three years. At the beginning of November, he decided to move to from Michigan to California.

He initially said he was only going to be there for a month to help his brother, who was also moving there, set up his store and move in to his apartment. He kept changing the date he was supposed to come back. And then I found out that he has shipped his car and cat there. I confronted him about it and he said he liked it there and decided to stay, but he didn’t want to tell me because he thought I’d break up with him and we wasn’t sure if he was going to stay there long term or not.

Fast forward 6 months later and we’re in this long distance relationship and it fucking sucks. His reasoning for moving there was because he doesn’t like the cold winters. He was trying to convince me to move there but (1) the cost of living is WAY to high (2) my job, that I love, with benefits and travel that pays me $25/hr is here, and (3) I just got accepted into UM Ann Arbor for grad school. I’m not about to derail my life to live paycheck to paycheck in a trailer home.

Aside from that, the logistics of our relationship don’t work. We’ve seen each other once in the last 6 months because I got some time off. He can’t come see me because his job doesn’t pay enough and he can barely afford his living expenses. Idk if this sounds selfish, but I don’t want to spend all my money to come see you because traveling back and forth to Cali is expensive.

He also gets off work at 7pm, which is 10pm for me. This is the only time we can talk or watch a movie together because his off days don’t align. So I’m going to sleep everyday super late, and it’s starting to affect my motivation for school and work.

I’m just mad at him for making a decision without thinking about how it could impact our relationship. I’m mad that he lied. Every time I mention taking a break or I say I can’t talk to him, he freaks out and gets super emotional because “I’m not trying hard enough to make long distance work”. Like I’m the one losing sleep, I’m the only one paying hundred of dollars to come see you. You essentially threw me in this situation without thinking of me.

I want to end things, but it just makes me sad because prior to him leaving, this was one of the most successful relationships I’ve been in. We were happy. Not we’re not.