Terrified to give birth yet excited about having a VB...

I'm having a VBAC is anyone else? I'm super excited yet nervous! I didn't get to experience much with my first born , not even a contraction that I could feel due to me having a emergency c section! My daughter swallowed some meconium after my water was forcefully broken, I say forcefully because of the carelessness of the Dr who broke my water without notifying me! She said was checking to see how far I was dilated so I closed my eyes because it's uncomfortable before I knew it my water was broken she was silent and I was terrified, Meanwhile her hand is still damn near elbow deep while she's making me turn side to side my daughter was losing oxygen and so was I HORRIFYING ! In a matter of seconds their were 6 doctors standing on top of me wearing masks, gloves and gowns while I'm screaming they were putting a mask on my face wheeling me into a OR! That's all I remember a hour later I awoke to my baby girl!