answer me???

im a great person ok this is anonymous so im not gonna be modest im pretty great. im the only person that sees this though.

ysee, i apologize as soon as i recognize a mistake. as soon as u call me out. ill randomly remember something and talk about it. ill try to heal the wounds ive caused, but only if i really fw you.

now tell me why i sent maybe fourteen, fifteen paragraphs to you and you just don't care? you tell me srry for responding late and then leave my next text for days weeks and up to a month until i blocked u to protect myself.

i was willing to do anything man i poured my soul out and it went down the fucking drain. ill always be open to you if u just TRY to reach out but im not expending anymore effort. especially when you cut me off when and because i was having an episode a literal mental illness episode -and i actually didnt do anything bad?? i just said the most random shit. not shit that cuts deep. nor shit that's really really personal. id never do that. but i do something so small and because i was having an episode cus i was so stressed at that time (i didnt even tell u that i just apologized profusely but yea u cut me off. and without warning too and it hurt. im still hurting. i dont know that anything is gonna hurt more like i probably have an unhealthily strong attachment to u which is embarrassing but ??? ill admit that and work on it w my therapist ill work on anything like i have no problems in any of my relationships and when i do it's because someone didn't communicate with me for some dumb fucking reason bc im literally so accommodating.

but i feel like ive been deceived? like i was only a backup when u fell out with other ppl and it's not a thought process i entertain bc i already have delusional paranoid thoughts ab everything. but it's hard to tell the difference sometimes and it's especially harder whem it's taken advantage of :/ i just feel like a dense idiot when i was actually being manipulated but yea we can work thru that too

just be honest and ill go away that's all i asked for just to be straight up and tell me you didn't want to work anything out. that's fucking it. basic ass response yes or no. left my ass on read im not surprised tbh im pissed but if u gave me even a shitty reason id probably believe it because im so desperate and naive :/

i just really bought into those things you said about our friendship i was sold and id do anything to protect it. but i guess.. you wouldn't..? not even expend a little effort youd give vague responses and i just feel stupid and embarrassed like..

im always gonna be alone. im always gonna be an idiot. ill always try and fail.

so now, im just gonna reminisce

remember smoking outside and listening to ctrl when it was freshly released? or to feel alive kali uchis? those are my top tier memories.

remember when we went to the beach? im pretty sure u inv me as a second option but it was still really a great time

when u used ur sisters license to go get someone and i was being dramatic? lmao i genuinely trusted u i didnt think u were a bad driver i just lie ab things man im sorry ab that too. but it was also funny 💀💀 top tier

remember going to school together on the first day?? that's some real shit. followed by years of fake shit and im sorry.

playing cod together??? i dont experience anything close to that happiness.

and im so sad cus ill never experience it again?? bc i expressed that to u and still nothing i just feel so stupid so fucking stupid for caring so much

i feel like being my friend was a chore and I'm sorry. ive learned so much and grown so much. im not the same person like entirely. im sorry u felt like u had to hide stuff. i projected the pain of my family onto u and im really srry.

im gonna cry EVERYTIME i think of u cus u mean a lot.

and for being so possessive girl. please give me a chance im legit gonna unblock u and call u when im done typing this cause im in sm pain without u. how tf do i live w no u. how??? ur ab to get a long ass voicemail dude like