Me and my boyfriend (who I have 2 kids with) went on a date night to a bar with one of his best friends who suggested it. It was so much fun for me I felt amazing and felt confident which i have felt ever in my life. When it closed we left while we were going back home he tells me I “should be with him“ I was like “wtf no!” And he says “well y’all like the same things” as in same music taste and aesthetic.

When we get home I go to the bathroom he follows me to the restroom and continues that argument and started bring up the past, as his friend hears us argue he comes to check on us and calms us down. Then my bf starts arguing with him saying “oh what u wanna fuck my gf” and his friend try’s to calm him down but can’t so my bf is yelling at me “cause I’m taking him side “ by calming him down.

I have really bad anxiety because of my bf so I started hyperventilating his friend sees that and gets so worried HE was telling me to calm down and to breathe as he was calming down. All while MY BF TRYS TO HAND HIMSELF WITH A EXTENTION CORD ON THE CELING FAN.....

as his friend goes to check on him he fell off and try’s to choke himself. His friend try’s everything to stop him yelling at my pushing him to the ground for him to stop as he is doing that my bf tells him “take care of her and the kids” and for him to kiss me like WTFFFFF his friend demanded that I call his mother and brother so I did and they came over at 5am to calm him down (FYI his family hates me and I’m sure blamed me for him acting that way) I definitely know my bf is INSECURE!!!!!

My body hurts so much from all this my mind continues to go 100 mph I can’t stop myself from thinking about all this.

My mental health is at a all time low cause of him. I tried EVERYTHING to love him and forgive him for the things he did but EVERY YEAR something different comes up with him and his family and is hard to love him 90% of the time. I’ve shed so many tears for that man that I feel numb. He lost me emotionally and lost a good friend.

(I can’t leave I have no where to go as of rn he won’t let me work to get any income.)

Any advice on what I should to about my anxiety or what I should do about this relationship with him.