i met this man about 6 months ago at my new job and we became really close, really fast. we talked all day everyday up until this day. i’m in a relationship of 2 and a half years and he knew that. we both got covid and spent all day everyday talking to each other and planning out what we want to do during summer together and just having dumb and amazing conversations. he admitted his feelings towards me and would tell me every single day how beautiful i am and how much he loved me. i let it slide so many times but since i’m in a relationship, i knew i had to tell him to back off a bit. so i did. i told him and he cried while i comforted him. he tells me i’m one of a kind and that there’s no one out there like me. and that how he wishes things could have turned out differently. “i knew the circumstances and i still fell really hard” he said as he cried. me, being the caring person i am, i struggled to hold back my tears. him and i clicked just like that.

i grew a connection with him that i’ve never had with anyone else before. it sounds really sad considering i’m in a relationship, but it’s the truth.

part of me thinks that maybe this hurts because maybe deep down i felt the same way. maybe our feelings towards each other were mutual. and that’s what hurts the most. i’ve really never had this connection with anyone. and it hurts because we have so many things in common. we share the same problems. our lives and our interests are so alike. i’ve never met anyone like that.

he tells me i’m the love of his life. he says it sounds silly because we’re only 17 but it’s the truth. he tells me he won’t be waiting for me because it will seem like he wants something bad to happen between my partner and i. he tells me usually he gets mad at a situation like this but it’s different this time because he feels a different kind of love with me. he tells me he will always love me and that i’m a special girl. he tells me he’s hurt because he lost the race and he wishes he was a little faster.

my heart hurts so much. a little part of me wishes things could be different. which is bad because i am in a relationship. but the things he would say and do for me are things no one has ever done for me. he’s really special to me. we both laughed and cried together and he tells me he knew this would happen but a little part of him wishes things could’ve turned out better for us. we did pretty much everything together.

my boyfriend and i don’t really click anymore. i few like im constantly getting annoyed and we just don’t know what to talk about anymore. but maybe it’s because it’s just the thought of a new romance happening that’s making me feeling confused like this. i don’t really know how to feel. i love my boyfriend with all my heart and i appreciate everything he’s done for me. but the man i met has also said and done so many things for me.

he tells me he wants to get to know the things i like and am passionate about. no one has ever done that for me. i always gets judged. i really like wearing cardigans and he tells me i look beautiful in them. my boyfriend tells me i look like an old lady in them.

WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH? i’m a terrible person for letting this go on and leading him on for a bit even though he knew his would have to happen. i’m a terrible person for feeling this way when i’m in a relationship. i just wish things could be different in a way. im only 17 so maybe things can change and be different. but for now i just want a hug and for someone to tell me that it’s gonna be ok. 😔