Married or not?

Question

I was slightly taken aback when the Drs office asked if I was married when I called to set up my first appointment. I'm not married but still trying to figure out why it matters? Now I'm worried about telling work I'm pregnant for fear of judgement. Any one else feel this way?

Btw we were trying to get pregnant for the last year we just didn't tell any one. I'm afraid people are going to think we got pregnant on accident. 😒 I think I worry to much

Answer

It's probably just to know how to address you when you come in. Don't worry about what other people think either!! Everyone has an opinion, but don't let it affect you. Throughout your pregnancy and when you become a mom, many will judge your actions, but don't be concerned with them, and do what's right for you! I'm 38 weeks pregnant and you should see the judgment I get from random people if I take a sip of a Coke...ridiculous lol

Answer

Where i come from people dont really get married anymore.... Now we moved somewhere where EVERYONE gets married.... We even ferl awkward when we talk to others about us..., to us its normal to say MY BOYFRIEND.... But yo everyone here they say : oh dont say that say spouse or partner or significant other....  We've been together 6 years... Have had two houses.... Are commin law.... But everyone puts this wierd pressure on us. He's my boyfriend and the decision to have a child means much more than getting married... The commitment is just as important married or not... Its a child!!!!! There is no divorcing a child lol i've had people tell me: oh he doesnt have a say in decisions for your baby you are not even married!   WTF?!!!!!  The commitment to have a baby is just as important! Pisses me off! Hahaa so yes people judge... But i dont care cause instead of getting inyo debt and over soending gor just one day, we save more money to actually do hreat activities and travels with our soon to be daughter and my boyfriend's older daughter... A week in cuba as a family has much better memories than a day spending 25000$ to sign papers that mean the same thing as us being common law :)

Answer

They asked me as well. They are asking to find out info on the baby's father and you're relationship with him. They asked me what my relationship with the baby's father was. At the time he was my fiancé. They asked if it was okay to share info with him, call him if needed, for him to go in the room with me for exams. They asked if he had every abused me or if I have ever felt afraid of him. They are not judging you in any way. They are simply trying to gather info about your safety/baby's safety (abuse questions), as well as who they can/can't share info with. For example, what if they didn't ask. And a lady was pregnant by an abuser that she ran away from. He shows up looking for her and info on her and the baby, saying he's the father. If they just let him in and allow him access to that info... That would be bad. As well as a HIPAA violation.

Answer

They ask that question so they can have a complete profile

Answer

You worry too much. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. You live your own life and should be happy with what you decide to do In Your life for you. Relax and enjoy the journey that you are about to embark. Middle finger to the nay Sayers

Answer

I'm not married and I'm on baby number 2 with the same man. He hasn't asked for my hand in marriage but he's building a family with me and plans on spending life with me. All that matters is you love each other and are a family. Don't worry about others opinions.

Answer

It sounds so weird but I think some offices like the father there for the first appointment because they ask a lot of family health history questions from both of you. But still a very weird way to ask that. People can be judgmental of any situation they don't seem "appropriate" you just do you and what's best for your family ignore people that aren't anything but excited for you

Answer

I feel the same way.. Its sad how people think they can judge and make comments.. I haven't told my job either yet because I'm afraid of the negative feed back. Due to not being married & this is baby#5. But he & were planning on having a baby.. He & I are happy about our pregnancy . i just don't think other's will be

Answer

Sometimes they ask to gauge your situation.  There are questions they ask regarding your relationship status that leads to deeper questions about whether you have been abused or feel threatened.  All things that can impact a pregnancy.

Answer

I'm not married, we have been together for almost 3 years, we don't live together and it was an accident and I don't care what people think. I don't live by societal standards or expectations and I don't think you should either. You're doing what makes you and your family happy and what works for you! Don't be sorry or nervous about being judged. The ones who do the judging should be worried! Congrats on your incredible bundle of joy :-)

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