So me and my boyfriend have a 1 1/2 year old and have been together for 3 1/2 years. We’re teen parents, both 18 currently. He works, i stay at home for the sake of breastfeeding even though we struggle so so much financially. We were both each other’s firsts and have never been with anyone else. Which is a big deal for me to only give that to one person, just for context. I always have very bad anxiety especially around vehicles. Also for context.

So first of all. Knowing all this. He speeds, uses his phone and jokes about driving drunk, records out his window and just so much with me and our son in the car to the point where I have a panic attack every other day in the truck.

He’s never been able to take care of our son by himself so I haven’t left the house since For 2 years, I don’t have any friends and I don’t talk to anyone but him and my mom.. so basically I’m going crazy. He goes out at least once a week with friends and calls me controlling if I tell him I want him to stay home since we don’t spend time together.

We argue all the time because of me being “controlling” also because I don’t “let” him spend money on his truck (led lights, speakers,tint, get it dropped/lifted, etc.)

He’s admitted to racing and many other things he promised never to do so my trust in him has already left, but I always knew he could never cheat of me....

Until he told me he almost did twice, added a girl he works with and backed out last minute, his reason was that I don’t do things for him (sexually) even though we have sex whenever he wants and that we had argued. But I should forgive him because he backed out🤦‍♀️ he’s admitted to fantasizing about every girl he sees “unwillingly” like if he can’t control it. He just thinks about every girl. He swears everyone’s flirting with him and used to have sex dreams about them all the time. And I’m supposed to be ok with that. I’ve never given him any reason not to trust me but I guess since he thinks that way he assumes I can’t be trusted either.

I stay because there are good days where he makes me feel loved and he’s a good father. He really cares about his son, I know co parenting would be horrible with him and his family but his family loves me and I know if I told them he’s hurting me they would be so upset with him and talk sense into him but he’d be pushed at me for telling them. I know if we broke up he would talk bad about me and assume I’m just messing around with every guy even though That’s not me at all.

And I can’t get a job. My son screams if he can’t see me I couldn’t be away from him but I’d have no choice.

Idk what to do. 😭😭 there is so much more but this is way too long.