Home sick

I don't know if many people will/can relate but I just need to get it out.

Me and my family are split up all over the world. I'm the only one in the UK, the rest are in Asia and Australia. So they have each other to not feel so far away. I have also grown up like this so distance isn't something that usually upsets me.

Currently my grandma is sick and in hospital and my parents luckily have been able to get a flight to Australia to be with her, after they quarantine and all that. I on the other hand can't. I have passport issues I'm fixing, plus border closure issues due to covid are making it really difficult.

I haven't seen any one in my family since December 2019 and likely won't see anyone until the end of this year. We are a super close family as well. My brothers are like my best friends.

Since finding out my parents are going down to Australia I'm so hyper emotional and jealous of the fact my brothers will get to see them.

I cried when I found out, cried all Friday and stayed in bed, yesterday I was a little better and then today couldn't even get out of bed. Got out at mid day and just cried until my fiance got home and continued to cry.

I know it sounds spoilt and bratty to be jealous of my brothers especially because my grandma is sick and unwell so I know they have to be there. I'm just so jealous I'm not, and I just feel so far away and distant from them all.

I don't know how to snap out of it. Every time someone messages in the family chat, I cry, pictures I cry, I don't want to Skype or anything because I feel so upset and angry that they get to be together and I don't.

How do I suck it up and get over what I can't currently control?